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The Funnies

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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

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January 17th, 2016

Immolation: #Hillary2016 #Bernie2016 At Situation Comedy #DemDebate

Update: Open thread: “No, I’ll grab more guns!” The Democrat debate. That’s what it might come down to. Guns? Really?


We expect utter stupidity tonight on NBC at 9:00 p.m. ET. Bernie Sanders will continue his imitation of one of the less intelligent members of the Bilbo Baggins family. Martin O’Malley will be a tree stump. Hillary Clinton will do her rendition of Brunhilde’s immolation scene as she flings herself onto the funeral pyre of her beloved and sets ablaze the world she once new.

The Shield Maiden of Chappaqua. Hillary’s beloved, for whom she sets herself ablaze is now Barack Obama. Hillary wants to be Obama’s third term because… well… insanity.

We’ve written for a long time about the foolishness of Hillary’s pursuit of Barack Obama’s “situation comedy coalition”. Our critique has been that the Obama cult is not transferable and that in either case it is a coalition that kills the chances of victory. We won’t beat that dead horse tonight.

Tonight we urge Hillary Clinton to read one of the architects (John Judis) of the Obama situation comedy “coalition of the ascendant” theory beat the dead horse into pulp at a premier Obama leftist publication:

Democrats are in more trouble than they think. And changing demographics won’t save them.

We urge Hillary Clinton to read that analysis in full. At the height of Obama lunacy on the left we provided our readers with the counter to the insane claims from the Obama left. Eventually John Judis and all the architects of the Obama “coalition of the ascendant” strategy capitulated to our argument - which we documented in Mistake In ’08, Part IX: Capitulation And The Lessons For Hillary Clinton 2016:

If Hillary Clinton 2016 comes into existence this July or later, the campaign strategy better consider our arguments and the ones that John Judis concedes he did not foresee. What happened in 2008 is not a question of historical interpretation. The “mistake in ’08” is the defining question for 2016. [snip]

It is going to be an impossible climb if Hillary Clinton 2016 is seen in any way as tied to Obama or Obama policies. Half-assed arguments of “stay the course’ but with “changes” will be too cute and will throttle Hillary Clinton 2016. And it gets worse, as John Judis just jived: [snip]

We always said it was a cult. The cult of not very well informed young people voted in 2008 and 2012 for Obama in the same way that blacks voted for skin color not character. Obama received meaningless victories personally but the party he headed withered. The party Obama heads will continue to wither. Any fruit on the Obama vine will wither and die. And that is what is happening now and will continue to happen in 2016 for anyone who is seen as in any way an Obama ally or tied to Obama policies:

Hillary Clinton chose to make the impossible climb which by definition is an impossible climb to make. CNN notes Hillary has chosen to be the Obama third term:

Clinton’s stump speech has long featured a prominent passage about how President Barack Obama doesn’t get the credit he deserves in rescuing the American economy. But in recent weeks his former secretary of state has been amping up her pro-White House rhetoric, seeking to tie herself even more closely to the popular president in the eyes of Democratic primary voters — a tactic that could intensify during the debate.

Hillary Clinton wants to be the Obama third term. In pursuit of that toxic goal, Hillary has made some truly stupid defenses and attacks. Again, we won’t go into the details because it is to painful to watch.

Suffice to say that on the Rachel Maddow show and in many campaign speeches Hillary attacks Bernie Sanders because Sanders is not in full worship of ObamaCare. Somehow it escapes Hillary and Hillary2016 that ObamaCare sucks and no one likes ObamaCare.

Obama Dimocrats defend ObamaCare but their defense is really just a defense of Obama, not ObamaCare. Obama Dimocrats want single payer. Idiot Hillary then defends ObamaCare as if ObamaCare was the issue.

Tonight, Bernie Sanders made it official, and he is for single payer so there go all of Hillary’s silly attacks. Hillary’s silly ObamaCare defense and Bernie Sanders’ counter should provide Bernie Sanders the margin of victory in Iowa. And if Hillary loses Iowa, her campaign is over and not even South Carolina will help her.

Bernie Sanders is a refugee from Hobbiton with permanent residence at the Prancing Pony in Bree. Still Hillary has proven ineffective in stomping out this weirdo. Hillary’s weapon of choice has been gun control. Expect Hillary to shoot herself in the foot on this issue tonight.

What would a sane Hillary Clinton talk about? How about the economy:

Stock market plunge dents Democratic narrative

Obama’s upbeat economic assessment is followed by a dramatic sell-off, with Clinton’s fate in the balance.

What would a sane Hillary Clinton talk about? How about the treacherous Iran deal wherein Iran gets $150 billion to attack the West?

What would a sane Hillary Clinton talk about? How about the economic consequences as Iran opens even more oil spigots in an already drenched oil market:

Stock markets across the Middle East saw more than £27bn wiped off their value as the lifting of economic sanctions against Iran threatened to unleash a fresh wave of oil onto global markets that are already drowning in excess supply.

All seven stock markets in the Gulf states tumbled as panic gripped traders. London shares are now braced for a second wave of crisis to hit when they open on Monday morning after contagion from China sent the FTSE 100 to its worst start in history last week.

Oh right, and a sane Hillary Clinton would also talk about the Obama economic disaster and the worst first week ever on Wall Street markets ever. A sane Hillary Clinton would denounce terrorism and appeasement. A sane Hillary Clinton would defend the working class against illegal immigration and the plans by big donors for a low wage society. A sane Hillary Clinton would want to make America great again.

Hillary Clinton is a great debater as is Ted Cruz. But you can’t win a debate when history and the facts are against you.

For those that loved Hillary Clinton in 2008 our advice is to not watch tonight. It’s gonna be ugly. We’ll watch, with tears - and comment, with snark.

January 14th, 2016

The ‘Who Gets Schlonged?’ #GOPDebate

Update: Debate night is here. The Star Spangled Banner has already been mangled. Can’t Republicans get someone who can sing at these things?

Online the debate can be seen HERE.


Our prediction is that the big loser tonight is Marco Rubio and the big winner, again, is Donald J. Trump.

Why Marco Rubio as the big loser? Because Marco is the best talker in the debates and because Marco is perceived as the roadblock to so many of the other losers. So it will be loser on loser violence. In past weeks Chris Christie attacked Rubio. Jeb Bush attacked Rubio. Ted Cruz attacked Rubio. And Rubio attacked back. Loser on loser violence.

A free-fire zone for losers.

Marco Rubio was a golden boy. By all logic Rubio should have been the 2012 VP pick for Mittens Romney. But Mittens decided to go with a Great Lakes play and chose Paul Ryan instead. After this snub Marco decided to ditch his Tea Party allies and power bottom on the Chamber of Commerce schlong. It’s been ugly ever since for Marco. Not only did Rubio stab his allies in the back, but then he failed his new masters in their illegal immigration amnesty/lower wages game.

On the very day Marco Rubio announced his candidacy, we provided the answer to why Marco Rubio will never get the GOP nomination:

What is Rubio’s problem?

Marco Rubio’s problem is not his failed and foolish support for what was termed “comprehensive immigration reform” which Republican/conservative movement leaders rightly claimed was illegal immigration amnesty.

Marco Rubio’s problem is that he deployed all his talents and abilities, all his remarkable capacities, all his promise and rhetorical skills – to sell a policy which his supporters correctly exposed as a monumental betrayal. If Marco Rubio with all his remarkable talents could do this to his supporters, supporters who made him a senator even as he ran against a Republican governor, then what other damage can Rubio do in the future to his Republican/conservative allies?

Rubio now says he is against what he was for. Rubio wanted to ingratiate himself with Big Business Chamber of Commerce types who want illegal immigration amnesty in order to keep working class wages down. All Rubio did was help Barack Obama.

A weather-vane willing to sell out his temporary friends for new friends, temporarily. Every time Rubio makes a great point, or a rhetorically brilliant riposte, what many hear is a very talented liar emitting very glib sounds - signifying nothing - but treachery.

With all that ammunition provided by Marco Rubio’s record, we suspect a lot of that ammunition will come raining down on Marco. We’ll only note in passing the hypocrisy of Jeb Bush attacking Rubio on illegal immigration. Most of the attacks are hypocritical and phony such as Christie and Rubio on absence records, etc. Mendacity in politics. Imagine that.

The little loser fights aside, what many in the GOP establishment and in Big Media are hoping for though, is a vicious battle tonight between Donald Trump and Ted Cruz. It might happen, but Trump has sufficient ammunition to make Cruz glow in the dark.

Yesterday, the New York Times published the results of a campaign’s opposition research (we won’t say it was the Jeb Bush campaign but they clearly have the best conventional opposition research team around, although Marco Rubio’s dirty tricks squad is good at old style research too and has more of a motive to dump dirt on Cruz). The news is that (a) Ted Cruz did not disclose a loan on his FEC reports; (b) said loan from investment bank Goldman Sachs; (c) which is a New York City business hated by Republican voters; (d) and from whom the formidable Mrs. Cruz gets her employment checks. All of the above might have legal consequences or it may not - but it sure as hell has political schlongery power especially when put up the day before a big debate.

Donald J. Trump, bless his good heart, has also been doing all he can to help his good friend Ted Cruz become aware of the great danger if it turns out the Senator from Texas has a “natural born citizen” eligibility for the presidency problem. Trump’s too astonishing attempts to help his very good friend Ted caused umbrage to ooze from Cruz headquarters.

Ted Cruz did not take kindly to Donald Trump’s good hearted efforts to save Cruz. Cruz suspected that Trump’s motives were to help himself and not Cruz. Imagine that!

This sweet assistance from Trump was rewarded with Ted Cruz poll numbers in Iowa suffering and inspired Ted Cruz to denounce Trump’s “New York values”. The New York Times story (how’s that for New York values?) pretty much made mush of the Goldman Sachs’ values of Ted Cruz and his attack. Also, Trump, as he did with the “Donald Trump whines” narrative (‘yup, I whine and I whine until I win’), took the Cruz counterattack and counterattacked:

Donald Trump reacted to criticism from Republican presidential primary challenger Cruz Wednesday, saying that he equates “New York values” to “energy” that helped the city to persevere after the September 11th attacks.

“One thing it means is energy. You know, when the World Trade Center got hit, we rebuilt that World Trade Center and we got through and very few places in this world could have gotten through what we went through. I mean, I was so proud of New York, the World Trade Center, these two massive, 110 story buildings come down, thousands of people killed. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. And immediately the rebuilding started,” Trump told conservative Radio host Howie Carr. [snip]

When Trump was asked by Carr if the “values” attack by Cruz was an effort to appeal to Iowa Evangelicals and value voters, Trump said, “I don’t know what he’s doing. I mean honestly he’s very nervous. He’s, ya know, very frightened by what’s happening I guess.” Trump then turned the discussion back onto Cruz by noting the discrepancy over his Canadian citizenship. “You gotta clear it up,” Trump said.

That’s an amazing response from Trump. The usual political response would not have been a defense of New York “values” but instead an “apple pie, flag, mother” defense. Where Cruz takes this foolish attack we cannot surmise but we would strongly suggest to the Ted Cruz campaign that this attack not be taken to tonight’s debate. Trump will eat him alive if he tries this line of attack. A Republican/conservative Trump hater sees the danger for Cruz - Trump hits back at Cruz: Anyone who wants to knock “New York values” needs to go through me:

If Trump is asked about this tonight, and he probably will be, he could use it to launch a broad attack on Cruz. The rap on Cruz, after all, is that his appeal is too narrow to win a general election. Democrats in Congress hate him; centrist Republicans in Congress really hate him. He could be elected king of red-state America but he’s dead on arrival in blue and purple states, or so the theory goes. [snip]

To which Trump could say: How do you expect to win in traditionally blue areas when you can’t resist insulting the people who live there? It’s Trump, not Cruz, who’s built a coalition that crosses party lines. It’s Trump, a New Yorker born and raised, who leads in Republican polls from coast to coast because he understands the anxieties of the white working class better than Cruz, the supposed hero of flyover country, does. [snip]

That’s Trump’s whole shtick distilled to a few sentences — as a wheeler-dealer in New York City, he’s scrapped with every financial, political, and media tough guy there is and he’s beaten them all. He’s battle-tested in a way Cruz could never be. The 9/11 line he uses in the clip is good too, of course, although he could go further if he wants. Another “New York value” is racial and religious diversity; Trump’s alt-right fans won’t like to hear him mention that, but they’ve been willing to ignore all of the other times he’s said “I love Mexicans” or “I love the blacks” on the trail. The media would go batsh*t if Donald Trump gave conservative ogre Ted Cruz a dressing down on national television for being insufficiently respectful of multiculturalism, especially if he praised their home base of NYC in doing so.

Cruz could reply that he has Texas values. Trump would punch back “Canadian values”. Result: a severe schlonging.

Our advice to Ted Cruz would be to unctuously and ostentatiously thank Trump for his all-too-kind concerns, not mention how Trump has profited in Iowa to the expense of Cruz, and move on to an attack on Rubio, Bush, anyone else but Trump.

Of course, our advice to Ted is rather stinky and not very good.

We do believe that if Donald Trump wins Iowa the nomination fight is over. Trump wins Iowa then he certainly wins New Hampshire too. Which means most of the presidential field is schlonged out. If Trump wins Iowa and New Hampshire he probably wins Nevada and South Carolina too. Which means whoever is left gets schlonged out of the race. And if Trump wins all the early states, then he probably wins the Super Tuesday states and every candidate remaining gets schlonged out.

The schlonging begins tonight. 9:00 ET. There will be a discussion of Obama’s many failures and of many issues too - but mostly schlonging.

January 12th, 2016

‘Now The Damned Have No Time To Make Amends’ - @Obama’s Last #SOTU

Damned by history. This is the first of many “lasts” regarding Obama. The last State of the Union speech we will have to endure from this clod.

The road is coming to its end. Now the Damned have no time to make amends” from an apocalyptic David Bowie. Obama is damned by History and it is too late for him to rewrite his legacy.

Not that Obama won’t try. Obama will try to create something from nothing, good from evil, gold from trash. But it’s too late for Barack Obama. Obama is a wounded animal who will thrash about in his death throes, but Obama in the ruins of his delusions, the Grecian columns at the beginning of his presidency fallen and overgrown with decay, knows it is too late to rewrite the history that is already written.

Even today on Obama’s big day, Iran further humiliates the clod secure in the knowledge they will still be awarded the $150 billion from Obama and the end of Western economic sanctions. The Muslim world of terrorists Obama sought to appease continue the suicide-murders and exult in full contempt of the weakling Obama. Racial harmony is another promised failure Obama made worse.

Is the Obama Chicago bagman Antoin “Tony” Rezko the Syrian who will sit next to the cocktail waitress Michelle Obama tonight? Is the empty chair on the other side of the cocktail waitress the same empty chair wielded by Clinton Eastwood to mock Barack? Will Barack Obama not make a fool of himself tonight? Tonight is an exercise in tragic comedy as Obama destroys himself for all the world to see.

We hear from Obama Big Media that Barack will try to be “conversational” tonight. Obama will extol his great works - an arsonist at the fire sporting a great grin:

President Obama will appeal to Americans to “fix our politics” by rejecting partisan distrust in his final State of the Union address on Tuesday evening, trying to strike an optimistic tone while admitting — if only tacitly -that his 2008 campaign-trail vision of a more unified and hopeful country has not come true. [snip]

Obama’s seventh State of the Union address will begin at 9 p.m. Eastern time.

It will come just hours after Iran taken custody of 10 American sailors on two Navy boats in the Persian Gulf — a development that could undermine one of Obama’s signature foreign-policy legacies, the nuclear deal with Iran.

It’s over. The damned have no time to make amends. Obama is damned by history.

January 11th, 2016

Horrid Year: David Bowie Departs Gracefully; Toxic Obama Remains

Über-trendy nightclub, natty attire, a box of Gitanes - the first time we met David Bowie. That’s a story for another day and another place. Today, in the early morning hours as we spoke with a friend and watched the news from the opening of the China markets on Bloomberg News we saw the screen fill with the news that David Bowie has taken his leave.

It was a classy departure. For eighteen months Bowie fought against his cancer. He knew. He had a time line.

Bowie fought to live against six heart attacks. He had work to do. Bowie departed on his terms.

For eighteen months he fought cancer and six heart attacks. It was kept quiet. There were no publicity leaks, no maudlin dramas, no exploitation. It was a dignified loosening of the bonds which tie us to this earth. Then on his birthday this past Friday on January 8 David Bowie released his 25th musical album. His work done, Bowie took his leave from the great stage.

His last work, performed with the full knowledge of the little time remaining, is a wink and a nod to us. How else to explain the last song and video Bowie released? The song is the otherworldly “Lazarus“. Come forth:

Look up here… I’m in heaven… This way or no way… You know, I’ll be free… Just like that bluebird… Now ain’t that just like me.”

Like Sinatra, Bowie did it his way. It was a classy departure. He did his work. Took care of business. Left us all a farewell. A class act.

For years Bowie has provided part of the soundtrack to this website. When those young Americans stopped a terror attack on a train we played Bowie’s “Young American”. In 2013, along with Bowie’s ominous song, we asked the question “Where are we now?” We employed “Panic in Detroit” during the bankruptcy of that once great city. We mocked Michelle Obama’s ridiculous cocktail dress outfits with vicious juxtapositions which featured Bowie during his Ziggy space alien phase. Our Orwellian world and the totalitarianism of the left has a soundtrack in Bowie’s album “Diamond Dogs” as the chorus from the left sings out “We want you Big Brother!

These days our ears turn more and more to a little known, little appreciated work by David Bowie we have referenced before: Cygnet Committee.

Cygnet Committee
is “David Bowie’s little known, almost forgotten masterwork repudiating 1968 collectivist bull-s*it”. For years David Bowie willingly slaved in the leftist world of “peace” and “love” only to discover that it was all a lie. Bowie discovered that the slogans of peace and love masked a totalitarian evil and he left - with a song that punctured all the lies.

Cygnet Committee is a counterrevolutionary song as honest as the Beatles own “Revolution” with its denunciation of those on the left who praised Chairman Mao - the totalitarian leftist butcher of Beijing. Cygnet Committee is an attack on the left and Orwellian language in which “peace” is a disguise for forced silence, where “love” is a speech and conduct code against human freedom and liberty:

And We Know the Flag of Love is from Above
And We Can Force You to Be Free
And We Can Force You to Believe

And I close my eyes and tighten up my brain
For I once read a book in which the lovers were slain
For they knew not the words of the Free States’ refrain
It said:
“I believe in the Power of Good
I Believe in the State of Love
I Will Fight For the Right to be Right
I Will Kill for the Good of the Fight for the Right to be Right

And I open my eyes to look around
And I see a child laid slain
on the ground
As a love machine lumbers through desolation rows
Ploughing down man, woman, listening to its command
But not hearing anymore
Not hearing anymore

Just the shrieks from the old rich

For that act of truth, that honesty against his very friends, we applaud David Bowie. These days truth is an unwanted commodity.

In our last article of 2015 we wrote:

We have no doubt that 2016 will be a horrid year. We do not doubt that Barack Obama, like a wounded animal thrashing about, will continue his attempts to rip the Constitution and the fabric and future of the country.

Thus far, 2016 is utterly horrid. It’s going to get worse. Today David Bowie, still creative and powerful, departed.

Tomorrow, Barack Obama, rabid and savage, will continue his assault on the nation with a set speech before congress. It will be horrid.

The good news? It’s Obama LAST State of the Union speech. Obama will leave. It will be ugly. He won’t leave in a decent manner. There will be class warfare but no class. No decency. No honor. Just Michelle in an ugly cocktail dress and Barack spewing his hate in the name of the left.

January 8th, 2016

Self-Inflicted: The End Of #Hillary2016 - The Rise Of #Trump2016

The truth hurts. Writing the truth as we see it hurts us. But we write the truth and months later, or years later we are proven 100% correct.

Trump supporters don’t trust us because of our history with Hillary. Trump supporters also don’t want to risk the “Trump is a Hillary plant and the proof is how HillaryIs44 says nice things about Trump” trap that by now even the dumbest cannot continue to promulgate.

Hillary Clinton supporters likewise are upset that we are not serving Clinton kool-aid and instead writing analysis that is so obvious to all but those who refuse to acknowledge reality and prefer to spin themselves into oblivion.

The truth is that Hillary Clinton has run the most hapless, confused, and silly campaign, of this electoral season. The Jeb Bush campaign is better than #Hillary2016. As catastrophic as the Jeb! campaign has been at least JeBush has the excuse that he was taken entirely by surprise with the rise of Donald J. Trump. No such excuse can be made for #Hillary2016.

Here’s some truth for you baby. A lot of Hillary Clinton supporters call Trump disgusting and boorish and a clown. Ask yourself baby, if Trump is so disgusting, boorish, and clownish shouldn’t Hillary2016 be able to stomp Trump out with a feather? If Trump is such a horror shouldn’t Hillary be able to schlong Trump?

The truth is that Hillary Clinton personally and Hillary2016 collectively are helpless against Trump because of the stupidity of Hillary2016 and the candidate herself. Such an embarrassment is Hillary2016 that they have not been able to dispatch that socialist fool Bernie Sanders!

The bitter truth is that Hillary2016 is worse than Hillary2008. Once again Hillary is mincing around getting schlonged.

In 2008 we were repeatedly told in private that Hillary did not want to take the gloves off on Barack Obama because she did not want to alienate Obama’s supporters - and especially Obama’s Arab supporters - with an attack on Obama’s Rezko connections. As Hillary the fool played it safe, Obama schlonged her in private and in public.

In 2008 we advised attacks against Obama which never came. In the end Obama was given delegates Hillary had won in elections, the rules were twisted to favor Obama and punish Hillary, and from Hillary all we got was weakness and acquiescence as she did not even contest the nomination in convention.

At least in 2008 Hillary put up the appearance of a fight. In 2016 all we see is whining from her and pathetic cries of “bully” anytime someone beats the sh*t out of her.

Hillary2016 could have questioned why the Bernie Sanders family left integrated Brooklyn to move to all white Vermont. Was it white flight that motivated the Sanders family?

Hillary2016 could have pointed out that socialist male Bernie Sanders stands to block the first woman president. But Hillary2016 is too above that. They rather lose. Obama supporters in 2008 were not shy about saying Hillary was blocking the election of a black man but Hillary is such a fool and Hillary2016 is so high-minded or incompetent they won’t do the obvious.

This first week of 2016 marks the end of Hillary’s hopes for president. It’s death by suicide. The death of Hillary2016 is entirely self-inflicted.

Consider, this week we heard about the attacks on women by Muslims in Europe. In Finland, Muslim men attacked women openly as part of what appears to be coordinated attacks by Muslim men against women. Finnish police: There was unprecedented sexual harassment by asylum seekers in Helsinki on NYE too. It was a planned attack by Muslim men against women in many nations of the West:

Security guards hired to patrol the city on New Year’s Eve told police there had been “widespread sexual harassment” at a central square where around 20,000 people had gathered for celebrations.

Three sexual assaults allegedly took place at Helsinki’s central railway station on New Year’s Eve, where around 1,000 mostly Iraqi asylum seekers had converged

“Ahead of New Year’s Eve, the police caught wind of information that asylum seekers in the capital region possibly had similar plans to what the men gathered in Cologne’s railway station have been reported to have had,” police said in a statement.

It was a coordinated attack in many countries against western women by Muslim asylum seekers. Suspect in Cologne sex attacks: “I am Syrian. You have to treat me kindly. Mrs Merkel invited me.”

From Hillary? Anything from Hillary Clinton the great defender of women’s rights? The great defender of women’s rights stayed grandmum on the whole disgusting multi-national attack on women. Instead of making this a central issue, Hillary was busy ignoring, or attempting to ignore the door she opened which Donald Trump walked right through.

We’re not going to go into too much detail about the door Hillary herself opened. Suffice to say that even the most powerful voices in support of Hillary2016 understood that Trump’s attacks against Hillary were indeed self-inflicted. Here’s leftist Hillary supporter Michael Tomasky:

But Hillary does have a potential Achilles’ heel here, which she opened the door to herself with one word she uttered back in September, and she may yet have a little explaining to do here to nail down a voting bloc that she’s going to need in a big way come November. [snip]

Back last September in Iowa, she said the words: “Today I want to send a message to every survivor of sexual assault. Don’t let anyone silence your voice. You have the right to be heard. You have the right to be believed, and we’re with you.” Obviously, “believed” is the operative word there, and quite reasonably, conservatives pounced on it at the time; oh, well then, do Jones/Willey/Broaddrick deserve to be “believed”? As Michelle Goldberg noted last week at Slate, a voter asked Clinton essentially this in New Hampshire in December, and her answer wasn’t the greatest: “Well, I would say that everybody should be believed at first, until they are disbelieved based on evidence.”

The other potential complication for Clinton may center around the question of what she did, if anything, to discredit Jones and the others.

This was entirely self-inflicted by Hillary against Hillary. That none of this has been gamed out by Hillary2016 leads us to conclude that Hillary2016 is composed of a bunch of dumb rocks. The dumbest rock in Hilllary2016 is Jennifer Palmieri. This dumb rock has to be dropped in the river. Also Robby Mook who started out with great possibilities needs to be more than “worried” and “annoyed” about Bernie Sanders raising almost as much money as Hillary2016 - he needs to be dumped along with Palmieri. From Hillary, a phony promise: I know what it’s like to be up in December of one year and lose in the spring of the next. I bet many of you might remember that feeling, too. We aren’t going to let that happen again. Bullsh*t! Hillary2016 is worse than Hillary2008. Emergency surgery is needed even though we think it is already too late.

By now every Hillary supporter is up in arms and ready to wash themselves clean of us and our brutal, ugly, analysis. But be assured, we are understating the case. Hillary2016 is mortally wounded and the wounds are self inflicted.

Repeatedly and for years we have waved red flags and warned Hillary2016 about what needed to be done.

Our seminal post on this was written in 2013 and blasted the Hillary2016 muddled message mess. We warned that Hillary had to be the change candidate, attack Obama, and embrace the white working class. From Hillary we got instead Hillary as the third Obama term, the status quo and rejection of the white working class in favor of Obama’s cult coalition which is not transferable and even if it were would never vote for Hillary.

Then there is Senator Joni Ernst, the self-inflicted wound by Hillary, yet to be deployed. We wrote about the stupidity of Hillary Clinton on this back in November of 20164:

Hillary as human shield for the boob Barack. Lovely. Hillary listens to this guy??? Stupid!!!! Still think we’re wrong?

Hillary Clinton wasted 2014 in campaigns for people like Bruce Braley. Braley in 2008 begged Hillary to raise money for him. Hillary raised money for Braley. Braley then endorsed John Edwards. Braley in 2014 asked Hillary to campaign for him. Hillary campaigned for him. Hillary now has the first woman elected statewide in Iowa who will be fully justified when she attacks Hillary.

Why will Joni Ernst be fully justified in attacking Hillary Clinton? Look at what Hillary Clinton said as she campaigned for John Edwards endorser Bruce Braley:

“I would also add, it’s not enough to be a woman. You have to be committed to expand rights and opportunities for all women,” Hillary Clinton said at a Wednesday campaign event for Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate Bruce Braley, Joni Ernst’s opponent in Iowa.

The “eighteen million cracks in the ceiling” battle cry ends with a crackpot remark on behalf of a John Edwards supporter. We guess the courageous Beijing speech on behalf of womens’ rights was only for certain women. The rights of women ends at the thin blue line? Women who dissent on “progressive” issues need not apply? Women who think third trimester abortions are a problem have to go not in the back of the bus but under the bus? Is this a way to inaugurate a smart campaign for the first woman president? And all this on behalf of a man who stabbed Hillary in the back to endorse that paragon of virtue John Edwards??? Is any of this smart??? [snip]

If Hillary Clinton decides to run in 2016, after the November 21st meeting, expect to see the video of those stupid remarks played repeatedly every time Hillary or any Hillary supporters mentions that it is time for a woman in the White House. There will be no “context” provided for the remarks because the video will send the message Hillary opponents need. And this on behalf of a John Edwards supporter who fuc*ed her over in 2008.

What idiot got Hillary to strap that suicide vest on herself?

Now it is too late. Hillary2016 is on the deathbed from self-inflicted wounds.

Remember that in September, before the second GOP debate, we wrote that Trump had pretty much already won the Republican nomination for president. Our analysis from months ago is conventional wisdom now, months later.

Why? Why is Hillary2016 dead and Trump2016 triumphant? We wrote about that too months ahead of everyone else:

As we predicted long before conventional wisdom caught up to us this past weekend – Yes, Donald Trump looks to be the Republican nominee for president in 2016. Yes, the GOP primary was “fixed” for JeBush but Donald J. Trump kinda messed that plan up. Yes, Carly Fiorina is a fizzle. Yes, Marco Rubio can’t get it up enough to win. Yes, Hillary Clinton’s biggest enemy is Barack Obama. Yes, Hillary2016 has thrown away the winning Clinton coalition for the losing Obama situation comedy demographic. And now, Donald J. Trump is busy building a winning general election electoral fortress with key elements of the former Clinton coalition: [snip]

The white working class should have been the bedrock of Hillary2016. The white working class support for Hillary Clinton in 2008 provided grand victories of 40 point margins when Hillary was most wounded. Now Hillary2016 has repeatedly abandoned those voters.

What we wrote months ago is now conventional wisdom. If you are really really really a Hillary supporter wisdom dictates you face reality not spin yourself silly. Hillary Clinton abandoned the Clinton coalition and the result is a death certificate. Even Joe Scarborough and his brain dead co-host understand that simple calculation.

The New York Times understands something weird is happening.

You want spin and kool-aid or the truth? Can you handle the truth? The truth we wrote about months ago which even Politico is forced to recognize:

Donald Trump’s big tent

Republicans explain away their unwelcome poll-leader by dismissing his supporters as a loud but narrow network of angry white men and celebrity chasers.

It’s not true. A POLITICO review of private and public polling data and interviews with GOP pollsters shows a coalition that certainly begins with conservative, blue-collar men now extends to pro-choice Republicans, independents and even registered Democrats unnerved, primarily, by illegal immigration.

Indeed, the uncomfortable truth, for the pundits and fellow Republicans who turned their noses up at Trump, is that his appeal has spread over seven months so far beyond a rabble-rousing, anti-establishment rump to encompass the very elements of the American electorate the GOP has been eager to reach. And while it’s no majority, it’s a bigger group than anything the rest of the fragmented Republican field has galvanized.

His coalition is not all angry working white males,” said Adrian Gray, a Republican pollster. “It’s all stripes. It’s a pretty big coalition. And among other demographics where he’s doing worse, he’s still leading or in the top two.” [snip]

Though Trump has less support with women and educated men, he’s still at or near the top of the GOP field in those categories. And, exposing the depth of the GOP establishment’s misunderstanding of Trump’s support network, his coalition includes far-right conservatives as well as people who hardly register on Republican radar.

Trump’s supporters skewed significantly against the GOP grain on abortion, for instance, in an internal poll of Iowa caucus-goers conducted for a rival presidential contender last summer. Respondents who identified themselves as “pro-choice” were three times more likely than “pro-life” voters to support Trump, according to a Republican strategist with knowledge of the survey.

One large dataset shows Trump excelling above all with voters who call themselves Republicans even though they aren’t officially registered as Republicans.

Civis Analytics, a Democratic data firm founded by veterans of President Barack Obama’s campaigns, built a model based on over 11,000 phone interviews with self-identified Republicans in 2015, part of a wider polling project. The data, first reported by The New York Times, shows Trump getting the support of 29 percent of registered Republicans but 36 percent of registered independents and 43 percent of registered Democrats, who in some states can still participate in GOP primaries.

The Civis data projects Trump’s support by congressional district, showing that Trump is especially strong in the rare pockets of the country where Obama performed worse while winning the 2008 presidential election than John Kerry did while losing in 2004, according to a POLITICO analysis.

In the Civis’ model, Trump runs ahead of his 33-percent national average in 30 of the 40 districts where Kerry matched or exceeded Obama’s performance, even though Obama ran about 5 points ahead of Kerry nationally.

Those districts are largely contained in a band running through Appalachia, from Pennsylvania to Tennessee, and then across the Deep South to Arkansas and Oklahoma. Once Democratic strongholds, voters there have sloughed off the party in recent decades — a trend that accelerated rapidly under Obama. Now, Trump is giving a voice to some of their protectionist concerns about immigration and trade.

“Essentially, the old base of the Democratic Party, non-college whites in the Midwest and Appalachia, have been cut loose and are floating like an iceberg in the middle of the electorate,” said one Republican strategist supporting another presidential candidate. “And they’ve glommed onto the Republicans because it’s a two-party system. But they have no affection for the Republican Party as an institution.”

Now, they form a key piece of the Trump puzzle.

Let’s repeat that paragraph:

“Essentially, the old base of the Democratic Party, non-college whites in the Midwest and Appalachia, have been cut loose and are floating like an iceberg in the middle of the electorate,” said one Republican strategist supporting another presidential candidate. “And they’ve glommed onto the Republicans because it’s a two-party system. But they have no affection for the Republican Party as an institution.”

Politico published that analysis today, but you can re-read our earlier, better version Yes, Donald Trump Does Destroy The GOP – Because Obama Destroyed The Dems:

What did Obama do? Barack Obama destroyed the once great Democratic Party of FDR/JFK/WJC. Obama expelled the White Working Class and senior citizens from the Democratic Party in favor of his situation comedy demographics “coalition of the ascendant.” [snip]

The people Obama purged from his Obama Dimocrat Party found themselves politically homeless. Now Donald Trump either by design or sheer luck leads the politically homeless to the Republican Party and the old guard bears its teeth of brass and snarls.

Neither Hillary Clinton nor Hillary2016 have read this analysis. If they did they would shriek in horror and realize they have given Trump this election on a silver platter.

As we enter the second week of 2016, with the first votes to be cast on February 1, Hillary Clinton has become the candidate for an Obama third term. Obama stunk up 2016 and issues such as Muslim terrorism, Muslim attacks on women, the collapse of ObamaCare, economic turmoil in the United States and economic/diplomatic/military turmoil continued in the middle east, Barack Obama and third termer Hillary prattled about gun control.

As Trump2016 rises we won’t be surprised if Hillary2016 attacks the bitter clingers on guns and Bibles - if they are Christians and Jews. On Muslim terrorists Hillary2016 will remain grandmum.

Next week will be grim for those that remember with fondness the Hillary of 2008. Obama on Tuesday will pollute the airwaves with his final State of the Union speech. Hillary will applaud the nonsense. Donald Trump will debate the losers on Thursday the 14th. Hillary will be upset. On Friday the big budget Hollywood movie on Benghazi will debut. Hillary will be grandmum yet again.

In the first two weeks of 2016 we will see vividly why Hillary2016 is dead and Trump2016 continues to rise.